I ordered a foam roller off Amazon for $20.
20. Fucking. Dollars. For a piece of FOAM. Apparently, though, it's specially molded with ExervoTM Nimbus Foam polyurethane microbeads compressed under heavy pressure and expertly crafted with a hot wire cutter. If all of this extra bullshit translates into anything less than being able to use it as a rocket launcher then I'm already disappointed. Seriously, though, those things do work for those of us not inclined to get sports massages and need something similar for home use (so are rocket launchers).
To sum things up, yesterday I floor pressed 315x3 and 325x2 (after a work-up). Pathetic. And tonight, I went for a run.